The Texture Story
by thestarlitrose
Summary: Draco and Luna find themselves in a bit of trouble. Harry, Snape, Bellatrix, Hermione, and Voldemort are there too. Warning! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. MADNESS AHEAD! Mentions of just about every Cliche available.


**Here is my warning... This story was created as a joke. My coworker and I work at a Daycare and are required to attend classes every year. These classes are EXTREMELY boring and usually last very long hours. I brought a notebook to doodle in and decided instead of doodling or playing Tic-Tac-Toe we could play the story game. This is poorly written, makes no sense whatsoever and is probably one of the stupidest story's posted on this website. It is also fairly amusing to the both of us and we plan on writing something at our next class. Please do not judge our writing based on this because as I've said before it was a joke and is pretty bad. That being said I hope you get a giggle out of it if you take the time to actually read this. The title is from one of the activities we had to do. The teacher gave us a bag with these words (Bumpy, Fuzzy, Fluffy, Rough, Smooth, Scratchy, Soft) written on it and we had to go around the room and find things that matched those words. After that we had to make a box with these things glued to it to teach children different textures. In this process I burned myself with a glue gun. Anyway I shall stop blabbing and finish this Authors Note. Enjoy =P**

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><p><strong>Make sure you read that!<strong>

**It explains everything!**

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><p><span>The Texture Story<span>

or

The Bumpy, Fuzzy, Fluffy, Rough, Smooth, Scratchy, Soft Story. 

**By: **_TheStarLitRose_ and _Emmuhleeee _

There once was a boy named Harry Potter. He was in love with a boy named Draco Malfoy. But Draco was in love with a girl named Hermione Granger. Unfortunately Hermione was in love with a boy named Ron Weasley but Ron was in love with Harry.

After months of Unrequited love Draco decided to use polyjuice potion to disguise himself as someone Hermione could love. So Draco disguised himself as Luna Lovegood.

While on his way to find Hermione Draco!Luna ran into the real Luna Lovegood. "Oh my goodness!" Luna said. "Luna!" Draco!Luna exclaimed. He then realized that Luna was the one he loved. After all he did rather enjoy looking at himself as Luna. It had taken quite sometime to pry himself away from the mirror and sometimes he had trouble getting out of bed. He loved his new Luna Body so much. Luna being Luna had no problem with Draco!Luna, in fact She would sometimes join Draco!Luna in bed. Besides, who else would know her body as well as her? Luna ended up falling in love with Draco!Luna but people didn't understand their love.

One day while experimenting Luna polyjuiced herself as Draco. Because of this a terrible accident occurred... Draco!Luna became pregnant! Draco!Luna was so incredibly confused! but then 9 months later, Draco!Luna had a little baby boy... but the baby looked a lot like Lord Voldemort. They named him Alfred. Little Alfred was a strange baby. He had Purple eyes, no nose and hair so thin and white he looked bald.

Luna!Draco was so confused. She went to Voldemort's place and confronted him. "Did you have sex with my lover?" she said. Voldemort looked disgusted at this. "No! I only have sexual encounters with Nagini! I don't like humans. My dream has always been to be a snake." Luna!Draco thought this over then exclaimed "But Draco is part Snake! You knew that!" Voldemort turned red and looked away. "Maybe just once... but he wasn't awake for it. It wasn't very enjoyable. He was much too human for me." Luna!Draco looked angry "but he still gave birth to your baby!" Luna!Draco yelled "You're a daddy!" Before Voldemort could respond Bellatrix Lestrange stepped out of the shadows "How could you!" she screamed "I LOVED YOU!" before she could think about what she was doing she pointed her wand at Voldemort and yelled "_Avada Kedavra!" _killing him.

"What have you done?" Draco!Luna stormed in "I LOVED HIM TOO! I couldn't help myself!" he said when Luna!Draco looked at him angrily.

Then Harry Potter woke up promptly emptying the continents of his stomach on the floor next to his bed. Unable to sleep any longer he got up and pulled out his invisibility cloak. He began to walk towards the astronomy tower only to see Draco and Luna snogging against one of the walls.

"OH GOD!" Harry screamed. Making the couple look around for the voice. Draco shrugged and went back to snogging his girl.

Harry threw up and ran off in the opposite direction. All he could think was "oh my god! It's real!" not being able to handle this future he ran to the tip of the Astronomy Tower and climbed to the edge. While debating whether to jump or not Severus Snape appeared from the shadows. "Hello Mr. Potter" he purred "fancy-meeting-you-here." To Harry's horror he moved closer. "What are you doing here?" Harry questioned Snape. The man didn't say anything. He just lunged towards Harry and shoved him off the ledge watching Potter fall to the ground.

Severus began to dance being finally free of the Potter-Brat.

The End!

_Note: Neither Myself or Emmuhleeee own Harry Potter and thank God for that! I could only imagine the fucked up version we would come up with. _


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